looking back

Last night I was on the phone with a friend who also interned with UrbanPromise last summer and who lived in the same house I did. As we talked he asked me what I have learned this summer, where am I this summer compared to last summer, and overall what it has been like being back here again. My experiance here this summer has been challenging, much more challenging than I thought it would be actually. Working at a new camp with all new kids has been a bigger adjustment that I expected. I love my kids at camp hope, and they have taught me sooooooo much, but if I am honest with myself I know that my heart is still in south camden. I am also in a new role this summer. I am the assistant director at my camp, which means that I dont actually teach classes but I deal with registration, parents, and the logistics of running camp. Assistant director also means that I am the house manager for the group of interns I live with. This has been my biggest challenge by far this summer. I dont enjoy it honestly. Finding a balance between being a  house mate and a friend, to following policy and keeping some peace in the house has been rough. I dont want to be anyones mom but at times it feels like that. All that being said, I finally feel like we are all into the swing of things, the bumps have been worked out and all seems to be going well thank the lord! Anyway... I told my friend last night that I feel like I excel in this leadership but it dosnt bring me the joy that I had last summer. He responded by saying that I dont think leadership is suppose to bring you joy. At least thats the way it has worked for him. I came into this summer expecting to feel the same way about the kids the interns and the city as I did last summer, however I have realized that is not practical. And if it all was the same then I wouldnt be learning anything. Last summer my joy came from the kids and from the relationships that I built with them. So much of my joy and energy is from the kids of camp hope but I have realized that seeing the interns learn and grow this summer has brought me joy as well. My job this summer has been to support them and encourage them, and the fact that they are continuing to learn and grow and love these kids means that something is going right. And God is no doubt still working here.