Calling

So at Messiah we have this class called "Created and Called for Community" otherwise knows as CCC, to put it kindly this was not one of my favorite classes. My professor was tough and much of the class felt pointless. However one thing has stuck with me from that class, and that was the idea of calling. One of the many definitions we discussed claimed that a calling is when your greatest joy meets the worlds greatest needs. I saw this truly come to life this summer, I was undoubtedly the happiest I have ever been, while serving a community often overlooked and ignored. It was hot, crowded, and exhausting but I experienced joy, and thats how I knew for at least this point in time that I had found my calling. With that being said I have decided at least for the time being that I want to move to Camden after I graduate. Im not sure how God is going to use me yet or what I will be doing (which drives the control freak inside of me crazy) but I know that this is my hearts desire. Messiah has been a place that has helped me learn and grow not only as a student but as a person and as a christian. I know that it has molded me into the person that I am today and the person that I am going to be in the future however it is also a great source of stress. 
Now you may think well no kidding...its college who isnt stressed, but its not the classes or the craziness of rehearsals and lessons and everything else going on. Its money. I HATE money, it is one thing that can make me crazy and seems to be the source of all arguments in my life lately. Messiah is downright expensive, with that being said I realize that I am incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to go there and just the fact that the financial aid worked out is a miracle. But that dosent help me sleep any better at night. Messiah has helped me realize my calling in Camden but I fear that it will also hold me back from pursuing that calling. I have faith that God will provide...he always has but at times I wonder if I'm not making a mistake.

Hope

Hope: the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
I have hope for this city, I have hope for these kids, and I am lucky enough to have hope as my sister
But this summer I also have the privilege of working at camp hope! On june 17th I will leave for my summer in camden, this year I will be an assistant director at a new camp with new kids, staff and director! As I think about my previous summer sometimes I cant help but think that the kind of community and friendships that were present can never be recreated. And although I know that this summer is going to be full of new opportunities and challenges I also know that God never ceases to amaze me and I have faith that there is something HUGE in store for this summer. Over the last year I have seen heart ache, and hurting people but I have also seen God move and work in ways that I never expected. I am excited for the chance to spend another summer in Camden, and to be able to share this experience with my sister. I am so thankful for the things that God has shown me and I have high hopes for this summer!