Pinky Promise

Today we had a break from training sessions and meetings to get our games together for the intern training. We spent the day cutting, coloring, researching, and roaming the basement of UrbanPromise for supplies. I am so excited for them to arrive and to see the relationships and growth begin.
In the afternoon we had a break so Laura (an AD who was an intern last summer) Wes (an exceptional newbie to the UrbanPromise family) and myself made our way to the down town house to give Wes a tour and to see if we can find any of the Camp Saved kids. As we walked we found a family who laura had grown to know thoughout last summer. The more time we were there the more comfortable everyone got. The kids were showing us their tattoos and Ju Ju challenged us all to a race (and all of them he won) As I left I realized that the doubts I had about moving into a new camp with a new director and new kids were gone. I feel so blessed to have my kids at Camp Peace that I adore but also have a new group at Camp Hope who I believe will be just amazing.
When we left today Ju Ju made each one of us pinky promise that we would come back and race him again. It's something I havnt done since middle school but it's a promise that I indend to keep. I am promising myself that nothing will hold me back this summer. The heart break that I know is inevitable when working in a City like Camden, the challenges that will come when living in such a unique community, or the walls that I have built. I am blessed to have this opprotunity and I am going to take full advantage of what God has in store.

First post of the summer!!!!!

Finally made it!!!!! On friday I arrived back in camden for the summer!!!! Things have already started getting crazy, long days full of orientation and training, running around like crazy to get ready for the golf event today and everything for the interns who will arrive on monday. However this weekend we were able to spend our AD retreat in the woods, in a beautiful home getting to know the teams who would be leading the interns this summer. I think the biggest blessing by far has been the team placed here this summer. It is amazing the amount of, love, compassion, prayer, inside jokes, and nicknames that have already formed amoung the group. I find it amazing that God continues to bless me with people who I learn and grow from. I believe God has many purposes for this summer and my prayer is that I can stay out of my own way long enough to hear and see what he is showing me. I have had the honor of being able to use my voice and gifts with music to help lead worship with devotions, and that has been something huge for me. Even though I helped with worship often last summer I am still getting the hang of things and trying to figure things out. At times I struggle with being able to get out of the music and into actual worship and it has been on my heart because I feel that if I am not able to enter into that place then I am holding back the rest or the group from being able to truely worship as well. I have realized that the Holy Spirit works reguardless of if I can see it or feel it. And for that I am sooo grateful.
I know this blog has been all over the place and scattered which I guess makes sense because that is what life is sometimes like as an UrbanPromise intern
more to come later....

I Refuse

So I have to confess I don't get to go to church very often. As a poor college student I work whenever the hours are available and I always have the sunday morning shift. Although I would rather be at church most sundays, I cant refuse the work especially when its one of my two shifts weekly during the school year. Anyway tomorrow I have off and had told my Pastor that I would be there and could sing if they had still wanted me to. So at youth group this week I cam across a song that I reallyyyyy liked. It's Called I refuse and it sums up a lot of the feelings I have going into camden and my last week at home.

I don't want to live like I don't care

I don't want to say another empty prayer

Oh, I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else

To do what God has called me to do myself

I could choose not to move

But I refuse

I could CHOOSE not to go to Camden, I could CHOOSE not to notice the hurting and the needy, I could CHOOSE not to listen to the calling I hear, I could CHOOSE to be "responsible" and work and save money,  I could CHOOSE to be "practical" and find a ministry closer to home, I could CHOOSE not to move, but I REFUSE. Sometimes I think it would be sooooooo much easier not to choose, just to pretend like everyone's okay, to say a prayer and feel fulfilled but I would be lying to myself. God calls people to MOVE and anything less than that, at this point would be ignoring him. 

As I was practicing this song to sing in church tomorrow it crossed my mind "this can sound alittle holier than thou" but for me its not about  parading around what I'm doing or how much God is using me. It's crying out, saying I dont want to be this, but it feels like the whole world is against me and I need your strength. 

In less than a week I will be moving back into Camden for the summer. I pray that he breaks me, and he uses me.

Notice the Rainbow

I love thunderstorms, I can't remember ever being one of those kids who was deathly afraid of them. In fact the only memory I really have involving thunderstorms and it's a good one. When we were kids we use to swim at my grandparents in-ground pool all the time. You could see the thunderstorm coming across town and they would warn us we would soon have to get out of the pool. But we wouldn't have it, we practically lived in that pool and wouldn't give up without a fight. So one time my grandfather came up with this idea that if we jumped into the pool after we hear the thunder we would be safe because lightning strikes before you hear the thunder. So thats what we did for many thunderstorms to follow all 7 of my cousins would be jumping in and out of the pool for the whole storm. 


It's one of those things in life that many of us fret while its going on and its right in front of us but then hardly notice when it passes. When your caught in the rain with no umbrella your bound to notice but when the drizzle stops and the dark clouds keep moving its like nothing ever happened. 


Sometimes its easy for my life to feel this way, I fret about money, juries, the dog barking, the car breaking down, or the keys I cant find, and at that point in time it feels like my life revolves around the issue at hand. I can pray and pray and pray my butt off but how often do I forget to say thank you, or notice when he takes that burden away. I pray that my eyes are open to see every blessing and not to take it for granted. I want to notice every rainbow...