I wish I could be there, but I can't

Today I said goodbye to some of the most amazing people I have come into contact with. Saying goodbye and adjusting into life back at home is something I always struggle with. Leaving last summer was heartbreaking, my heart aches and still does at the thought of not being there to love, encourage and motivate the kids who so quickly stole my heart. But throughout the last year I have gotten to a place where I am okay with leaving the kids, because I know its not a goodbye but its a see you in a month. I use to feel empty coming back home knowing that part of my heart would remain in Camden but it now brings me comfort knowing that I call camden and etown home, and I am lucky enough to have an amazing family of people who love me and care about me in both places. 
This year I have struggled with goodbyes in different ways. On monday the interns left, I knew it would be difficult saying goodbye to the people who we have lived and worked with for the past six weeks but that is not actually what got me. As I watched vans pulling out of the parking lot I looked around and saw street leaders and kids devastated. The people who invested in them, believed in them, and who were there for them all summer were suddenly gone and on a plane to the other side of the US. My heart hurts for the people left behind. My prayer is that these relationships continue and that even thousands of miles away they continue to be the encouragement and support that these kids need.
And lastly today I said my own goodbyes. Today the assistant directors left to go home and back to school. These incredible people have been my friends, my support system, my comic relief, and my shoulder to cry on for the past 8 weeks. Without this group of people I don't know how I would have made it though the summer and words cant even describe how much of a blessing they have been. In many ways I haven't been able to process everything yet, and I am not sure what will happen from here but I pray we continue to be part of each others lives.
This is a song that an amazing intern shared with me last summer...it simply states all the things I wish for me kids and my streetleaders. I know I wont be there to see all of it happen but I pray that it does and that they know how much they are loved

I wish you freedom

I wish you peace

I wish you nights of stars

That beckon you to sleep

I wish you heartache

That leaves you more of a man

I wish I could be there

But I can't

I wish you places

That sit so still

Where people never ever change

and never ever will

I wish I could hold you

And make you understand

I wish I could be there

But I can't

Be good for your mama

Cause she'll need a hand to hold

Boy, she loves you

More than you'll ever know

There are rhymes and there are reasons

And times when nothing stayed the same

But you know my love still remains

I wish you wisdom

I wish you years

I wish you armies

To conquer all your fears

I wish you courage for all that life demands

I wish I could be there

But I can't

Be good for your mama

Cause she'll need a hand to hold

Boy, she loves you

More than you'll ever know

There are rhymes and there are reasons

And times when nothing stayed the same

But you know my love still remains

I wish we were together

I wish I was home

I wish there were nights

Where I was never alone

I know I've said it

But I'll say it once again

I wish I could be there

But I can't